Mom went to her standing appointment for her hair do on Thursday morning. She came back looking beautiful. That afternoon I met with her PCP and we discussed end of life protocols and discussed a DNR. The doctor was so understanding and in agreement with what I proposed. We all know that mom’s prognosis is bleak and that lifesaving procedures will just exasperate the process and extend her suffering. Sometimes letting nature take its course is the best option.
Mom and I stopped by the doctor’s office on Friday morning to pick up her DNR form. We have to keep it with her at all times. She just knows that it is part of her paperwork in dealing with her disease. If she remembers that now, I don’t know. When I picked it up the receptionist cried with me. It is a real dose of reality to read it and see it completed. Reality set in.
After picking up the paperwork, mom and I headed back to my house at the beach. I have appointments and business to take care of. Life goes on no matter what you have to deal with.
On the trip down, mom was looking worried so I coached her to tell me what was bothering her. She said that she wanted to go to assistant living. That was a huge surprise. She kept talking about for about 1.5 hours. We both cried as we talked. She wants to go to Rolling Ridge, which is near her home. She doesn’t understand that when she goes it has to be memory care. Dementia patients need to be safe and assisted living isn’t enough. Memory care is a safer place and they provide programs that help Dementia patients. It doesn’t come cheap and has a base price of $6,400/month. Take out long term health care policies while you are young. Most families can’t afford long term care.
Mom has done well at the beach and is still having good days (relatively speaking). She has lost another 3 plus pounds this week. She got upset about it because, “I’m eating so much.” She is still eating 500-700 calories a day. Last night she ate homemade chocolate pie for dinner . Thanks Mary. We don’t care how she gets the calories as long as she gets them. She is still wearing the heart monitor and it’s been a chore to keep her from “fixing” it.
Mom slept in today and she is having some shortness of breath. Hopefully today will be a quiet day and uneventful. We don’t know how long we have on this journey, we are trying our best to do our best and that is all that we can do.
More later.
Gallivanting with Sandi 
You have a heavy load but are carrying it with love and compassion. We are here for both of you however we can. Some homes have a special section for dementia patients. Praying for you in each decision. Love you both.
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