Up/Down and all Around – Alzheimer’s in the Family

Mom went to church again on Sunday. Charles went with us and we had a good time. After church mom wanted to go to Smithfield’s BBQ for lunch. She loved that restaurant although she doesn’t remember what they serve and she tells me to order for her. Sometimes she can’t remember the name of the restaurant.

We saw many friends there and they stopped by to gush over mom as she hasn’t felt like going out for weeks. She ate a few fries and 1/2 a bbq with slaw sandwich. When we got home she had to have a little nap.

I haven’t said much about it but for two days in the last several days my mom has called me Gayle. Gayle was mom’s younger sister who died the first of June from complications of Alzheimer’s. She still does from time to time. I believe during these times she does not remember that I’m her daughter.

Charles left Monday morning after a wonderful week stay. It was good having someone there with me and I slept good. I stripped beds after he left and caught up all the laundry. Mom wanted to go to McDonalds that evening to meet up with some of her friends that meet there. She hasn’t felt like doing that since June. She was a hoot and so were her friends. She played lottery scratch offs and visited. It was fun even though she didn’t win a thing. She can no longer understand the rules of the game and after I explained it, she still couldn’t believe she didn’t win. Our friend Mary said that she put the voodoo on everyone. It looked like she tried.

Today, we got up early and went to her doctor appointment. Mom does have Atrial Fibrillation and has an outpatient EKG scheduled for next Wednesday at Sampson Regional Hospital. Her pulse, while wearing the monitor went from 43 to 180. They started her on Zarelto. After the EKG, we are scheduled to see her cardiologist on 10/21, the earliest available appointment. Her GP believes that the cardiologist will want to give her a pacemaker. I have many questions before I can approve that procedure. It involves anesthesia and that may cause delirium. These choices are extremely hard to make.

After the appointment we came back to my home in Myrtle Beach. It was so good to get home. The cats have been very happy to see us. Mom isn’t too happy about being here but she has to come with me, I have a business and friends here. I still have an estate to settle. I do have a right and need to see my friends. Her only choice, if she doesn’t come with me, is to go into memory care. She doesn’t want that either. There will come a day when neither of us has a choice in that. I can’t keep going 24/7 with the current status. I’m tired most of the time.

Mom told me this week that she would just stay at home. She said she has money and that she would pay for someone to stay with her 24/7 and she would not go to the beach with me. It would cost $30/hr for a qualified person to stay with her. Mom has no money. She did come home with me without an argument but she had been pouting since we got here. That’s ok. I take no offense. She’ll either get over it or not. That’s okay. She is safe and I get to take care of overdue business and also get a massage for stress relief and finally get the oil changed in the Subaru, which is overdue.

Unfortunately, this trip will be short as I have to have her back for appointments in just a week. I would like for us to stay here until she has to go to memory care. It’s so much easier for me here. The hospital is light years ahead of the hospitals near her if we have an emergency. My house is handicap friendly. So many pluses but it isn’t HER home.

These are some of the challenges we face. All decisions are based in what is best for her and her safety. That is all that I can do. It’s damned hard.

More later.