Here, There, Everywhere – Alzheimer’s in the Family

We returned to my home in Myrtle Beach on Saturday. I was so happy to be home. Mom did not talk at all on the trip back. She did mention how quiet it is at my home. It is.

I did a lot of chores when I got home. I’m still trying to get things in place after the remodel and need a few minor odds and ends finished.

Saturday the lock box came for meds. It’s a godsend as mom was getting creative about accessing meds when she shouldn’t. The box holds 24 bottles and her weekly pill planner. No more accidents with the meds. Thank heavens.

Sunday, Ilona kept mom so that Ray and I could go to my dear friends’ wedding. Tracey Rae and Cary had been together for 10 years and decided to wed. They had a beautiful wedding on the beach followed by cocktails, dinner and dancing. What a wonderful thing to share with all of us. Tracey was a beautiful bride and I cried when Cary saw her and he had to wipe tears. Simply beautiful.

November 3rd was challenging and a day of remembering as it is my dearly departed brother’s birthday and Tom’s 3rd Anniversary of transitioning from this plane. Now I have a beautiful happy memory for this date. Thanks to Tracey Rae and Cary. Life goes on and it’s beautiful with those with whom you share life, love and care.

Monday was a day of chores. Mom was still not “dealing” with me. I ordered mom’s medication refills. Loaned Tom’s Raleigh bicycle to a friend in recovery so he would have transportation and ran errands, a few minutes at a time.

Tuesday the Lazy-boy recliner and rocker recliner were delivered. They were ordered 8 weeks ago. They were perfect and mom can get in and out of them much easier than the loveseat. The rocker recliner is hers. One good thing.

Today, we loaded up and came back to mom’s house. We stopped in Clinton to get a certified copy of her divorce decree. I had talked with Sampson County earlier and went to the office I was told. Wrong office. They sent me to the courthouse annex, again wrong place. They sent me to the Clerk of court’s office. I had to leave my cell in the car and go through security. The clerk of court pulled up mom’s records. Low and behold, the record belongs to Pitt County. I spent hours and got nothing I needed due to bad information.

I now have to go to Pitt County Clerk of Court to get the certified paperwork that mom needs for Social Security paperwork. I have about 25 days to get this information or start the process all over. This journey is difficult enough without all the wild goose chases that we’ve been sent on.

I have decided to hire an Elder Attorney to help us navigate this mess. Yes, it is a mess. It will take some of the stress off me and an Elder Attorney can guide us through and file needed paperwork so that mom gets the help she needs. It will be worth every penny and give me some relief.

This process should not be this difficult, but it is. Glenda will keep mom on Friday so that I can go to Greenville, 1.45 hours away to get certified copies that I need. I’ll drive back to mom’s and then drive 45 minutes to the Social Security office in Fayetteville to hand deliver the required documents. I have to do this because the Social Security requirements are time sensitive or we will have to start all over and assistance will be delayed. Welcome to the world of trying to get help for elderly with no assets. It’s hard and frustrating.

In the mean time, mom is still losing weight and will sometimes eat with prompting. At times she pouches the food in her cheeks and has trouble swallowing. It’s part of the disease. In my efforts to keep her safe, as her filters are gone and she sees no danger, she often is very angry with me. One day she told me she might as well be in prison because I keep her from doing what she wants. In this particular incident she was bypassing a ramp to walk up steps with her walker. It’s so hard. Especially when she gives me the silent treatment. I would much rather she yell and get angry like she does at times. She can go a week without speaking to me for some imaginary wrong that I’ve committed.

Updates coming so, again, more later.