Thanksgiving was a beautiful day here. Lots of southern farm table traditional foods with my personal twist. Good company with Ilona, James and Richard stopping by for a plate. It was a feast and mom actually said the blessing and participated in the ” what am I thankful for” discussion. She didn’t eat much and retreated to her chair while the rest of us visited. It was the best day.
Friday morning I went to wake mom around 9:45 AM. She was lying on top of the covers in a fetal position and she was moaning. Her voice was a whisper when I tried to check her out. I couldn’t sit her up nor get her up. Her vital signs would not register and I tried 3 times. I immediately called 911.
Rescue arrived in 7 minutes and in the meantime dispatch told me what to do until they got here. Travis and Kyle, with HCFR, were wonderful and got her transported to Grand Strand Hospital ER. I was afraid that she was dying.
When I went back to the ER mom had several professionals working on her. Many tests were run while they provided supportive care. Early on they thought mom had a mild heart attack. Her heart enzyme Troponin was elevated which indicated a heart attack. She had cardiac and several other consults. By Saturday they decided it wasn’t a heart attack but her organs had begun to shut down which caused the Troponin to leak into the blood stream.
We had struggled to get mom to eat and drink for several weeks. All her doctors were aware. Her collapse was due to dehydration and malnutrition. When she was admitted to the hospital her kidneys were badly affected. The supportive therapy, this time, is reversing the adverse affects.
Amos and Jeremi, my kids, drove down Friday to provide support. It was comforting to have them here. We had some good discussions, which were really needed. I appreciate them so much.
Saturday mom was more alert, probably because Amos and Jeremi were here (and she’d had a few bags of fluids, etc.) She introduced me to her doctor as her mom. She couldn’t get the right word and that doctor had been in several times before. At a later time she introduced her grandchildren as her niece and nephew. I believe she knew who they were but she couldn’t get the right word.
By Sunday mom was feeling better and alert. She had cardiac, physical therapy, speech, nutrition and other consults. Many were involved in her care. Each and every one of them were phenomenal.
Mom’s best friend of 69 years, her minister and his wife drove 3 hours to see her on Sunday afternoon. They brought a beautiful flower arrangement from our friend, Mary. Mom had a good visit and was animated. She was extremely exhausted when they left.
On Monday two doctors took me outside of the room to speak with me. One doctor advised me on getting home health aids until we can get her placed. He told me to spend every bit of her money on help.
He also told me my life was going to get exponentially harder. He said hers wouldn’t because she wouldn’t remember. He was a kind soul and at the end he gave me his card and told me to call him anytime day or night with concerns. Wow. I cried.
The other doctor also expressed similar concerns and paged and expedited different orders when mom was becoming agitated. The professionals at Grand Strand are a step above the rest. They got mom to eat and drink and they handled her beautifully.
Mom got a total of 8 bags of fluids. She also received a bag of broad spectrum antibiotics as they thought she had an underlying infection due to her skin picking. She was released Monday evening after 6:30PM and we were home by 7 PM.
She has been a little more confused than normal. She couldn’t understand why we brought her all the way from Newton Grove to a Myrtle Beach hospital. There was no way to explain it so that she would understand. It’s ok. It is what it is.
She is also angry with me because I won’t take her back to Newton Grove and let her live alone with people just checking in on her. She will never understand her situation and can’t remember that the doctor has ruled that she can’t live alone nor drive. It’s frustrating. She told one of the doctors that she lives alone and was visiting me when she got sick. “Ain’t that a note!”
Today she asked for her checkbook. She hasn’t been in control of her finances since October 2018. I let her see it and she wanted to write me a check to pay for my “troubles.” I told her again that she can’t write checks and that her money could only be used for her expenses at home and her health care. So here we sit with her angry again.
I would be lying if I told you that this journey isn’t excruciatingly hard. Watching your loved one disappear into an abyss slowly and piece by piece is heart breaking. This horrid disease affects the patient, the family and friends. The kicker is knowing that no matter the sacrifices and actions that are taken, the outcome will be the same.
Thank you to all who are following this end of life journey. I hope it helps in some way.