We have been at Myrtle Beach since 12/27. It has been quiet and mom has been on a plateau since her hospital stay. She is physically doing much better. Mentally she has become worse since Thursday. There is a notable decline. She is back in 2001 and she is very confused.
Our home health care provider (hhcp) started last Monday and she is great. Mom thinks she is sweet. Elisa is coming Monday, Wednesday and Friday for 5 hours. This has allowed me to get out of the house to meet friends, run errands and go to Urgent Care. She actually got mom to start a painting of bluebirds and trees and they made friendship bracelets. Mom hasn’t done anything like that for months. She won’t even attempt it with me. New face = new person to please.
When I returned on Friday, Elisa talked with me privately about mom’s mental decline over the past two days. She had a hard time with her as she went to a dark place about my father and wouldn’t redirect. Elisa eventually took her out to the patio in an attempt to change the mindset. Mom was and is in victim mode again. Sad to say.
Tommy, mom’s brother, and David came to visit and spent an afternoon with us. It was a good visit but mom seemed lost. She didn’t remember that Gayle had died and asked Tommy about her. We have decided to tell her a fiblet. We will tell her that Gayle is in Michigan, which she is, and avoid her grieving afresh each time she learns that her sister has passed.
This week I got a call from the memory care facility. The director came on Thursday to do the intake paperwork. They have a bed for mom. The two ahead of her are male and a female bed was open. We got mom’s TB test today and I pick up the FL2 on Tuesday and hope to move mom in by Thursday.
This couldn’t have come at a better time. I’ve been experiencing extreme fatigue and have no energy. Ilona kept mom for me to go to urgent care on Sunday. I had my first ever abnormal ekg. I was diagnosed with left branch bundle block but the doctor said that wouldn’t cause the fatigue. The bloodwork and ekg results were forwarded to my Primary care physician. I am being referred to a cardiologist and internist. Hopefully, we will get to the bottom of it soon. It just reinforces what 3 of mom’s doctors and my doctor said about placing my mom and preserving my health.
I had included in an earlier blog that 40% of caregivers die before their patient. That figure has been recently updated to read 60%. It’s time for placement and I’m so happy mom is going to a 4 out of 4 star facility with no deficiencies in over 10 years. One of the best in NC. They also have memory care therapy, which is very important.
I have mixed emotions about placing mom but I know in my heart, mind and soul that it is best for both of us. I have worried that something would happen to me and mom would become a ward of the state. Not a good thing. Having her placed and the funding in place will prevent that from happening.
This journey is long and hard. I’ve come to realize that when one does their very best, that’s all that one can do. I have learned not to beat myself up over decisions made. The priority is keeping mom safe, secure and cared for.
As always, more later.
Gallivanting with Sandi 