Changes – Alzheimer’s in the Family

Last Monday the TB test was read and is negative. We left the beach and went back to Newton Grove that afternoon. Mom was a little angry with me but I really didn’t know why. She seemed indifferent about being back at her home .

On Tuesday Glenda and Eugene stayed with mom so that I could pick up her FL2 form from her doctor. I really appreciate their help and support during this journey. I left the doctor’s office and went to Day Spring to complete almost 3 hours of admittance paperwork and to see mom’s room.

Everything went well and on Wednesday, after mom’s hair appointment, I took her to Smithfield’s BBQ (her favorite restaurant). We then left for Day Spring. I didn’t tell mom where we were going until we were on the way. I had agonized about telling her because she just wants to stay at home.

My voice trembled and tears filled my eyes as I told her that I could no longer care for her and keep her safe. I told her that it was an honor and privilege to care for her and that I loved her very much.

In the moment of lucidity she replied that she understood and that she loved me and she would adapt. Wow. She was matter of fact, no tears and full of acceptance. Prayers were answered. We talked about the place and how I would take care of her house and she was completely ok.

When we got to Day Spring, Ray was there to help us. He knew I was moving her in alone and he was simply there to help. It gave me such a sense of relief. It was good to have his support.

The director came out to greet mom. She had come to Myrtle Beach to do mom’s intake the previous Thursday but mom didn’t remember her. Mom did, however, hug her neck. We took mom in and she commented on how nice the place was. She was very animated and happy.

When we got to her room we discovered that her roommate was someone that went to school with her at Westbrook and mom has known most of her life. They had an emotional reunion while I set up moms side of the room. Clothes and books put away, feminine comforter and shams for her bed and heart garland and pix for her wall. Unfortunately, I didn’t get any pictures while there.

While setting up the room Ray and I noticed that my hands were trembling terribly. I guess it was all the anxiety of placing mom coming to a head. I didn’t stop trembling until later in the evening.

Mom was such a social butterfly and making friends. It was totally out of character for her. She was ready for us to leave so she could visit with her new friends. She said, “Just come see me sometime.” Then she was engaging with her new best buds. The move in could not have been any better.

I have not visited since move in day. I was advised to wait at least 10 days so she could settle in. I have called and talked with the memory unit manager and she assures me that Miss Joyce is doing great and engaged with new friends and participating in activities. I find this simply amazing as she has been so introverted over the last year and showed no interest in anything. I consider it divine intervention. All this reinforces that the decision to place her was the absolute right one. She is flourishing.

In the meantime I have slept in my own bed for the first time in over 8 months. I’ve slept from 9 pm to 9 am. I’m feeling some better physically. I start my doctor appointments on Wednesday to figure out what is going on with my heart and other issues. I’m hopeful that these issues are reversible with the major stressors removed.

I’m in the process of adjusting to yet another new normal. Hopefully one with a lot less stress.

Also, I was asked to tell folks that if you send cards to mom, please don’t send cash or checks, just cards. Also, we are asking folks not to visit before next weekend so that mom can settle in. We thank you all for your love and care.

More later.

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