Bumpy Ride – Alzheimer’s in the Family

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Last Sunday we woke up to mom bleeding again. She had been on a lower dose of xrelto for just two days. The bedding was covered in blood. I got the bleeding to stop with compression. It was a mess and the end of xrelto for her.

Mom wanted to go to church so we got ready and arrived at church (with a first aid kit) at 10:45 AM. The parking lot was empty and the church was locked. Mom didn’t remember and I didn’t know that church on 5th Sunday starts at 9:30 AM. Oh well, we tried.

We (I) decided to ride around the countryside to see what has changed since I moved away 47 years ago. It was a pleasant experience and mom even remembered some of the home places and she was quite amused at some of the large bean fields which had multiple scarecrows.

We ate at her favorite restaurant (Smithfield’s BBQ) again. She didn’t remember what they served and she had trouble deciding even with my help. She just struggled. She got to see and speak with some of her friends while we were there. I consider that a win for her.

When we got home, her friend Charlotte stopped by and we had a great visit. When she left Shirley stopped by. Mom didn’t know who she was at first but she remembered with a little prompting. When the visitors left mom went to sleep in her chair. Her arm had bled off and on all day. It finally stopped around 4 PM.

I called her GP early Monday morning and left a message. They called back before 9 AM and told me she couldn’t take xrelto and to stop it and keep her on the 325 milligrams of aspirin. I had already done that. I also made an appointment for that afternoon to get the FL2 form that I needed for admission to assisted living.

Glenda came to visit mom so that I could go to the doctor appointment, it went well. We discussed the xrelto issues and items pertaining to the FL2 form. I expressed concerns about the difficulties surrounding getting guidance and help as we have hit one roadblock after another. If it wasn’t for friends who have been through this, I would be lost. It shouldn’t be this way but our health care system in this country sucks, especially for the elderly and poor.

The first thing that the doctor said to me was, “We were wondering why you hadn’t asked for this form before now. We know how hard caregiving is and don’t want you to lose your health or die before Ms. Joyce.” Surprised me. Now I’ve heard it from three doctors “take care of yourself.” I’m trying . The doctor also said that mom’s valvular incompetence was the worst they have seen and they didn’t know what the cardiologist would recommend. They are helping us get her cardiology appointment moved up. No luck yet.

I picked up the FL2 form on Tuesday and went directly to meet with mom’s case worker. The doctor listed mom’s issues in this order: Alzheimer’s Disease, atrial fibrillation, coronary artery disease, hypertension, Hyperlipidemia, depression, anemia, and edema of the extremities. Gee whiz.

Mom’s case worker was a huge help. I signed multiple forms and made an application for assistance for mom. The case worker told me of the next steps which includes an application with social security. She also called the assisted living facility to tell them that mom had a pending application, the facility will admit her with the pending application.

I called social security and their first available appointment is November 1st, I took it. The agent told me that they don’t recognize a power of attorney and that mom should go with me. I explained the situation so the agent said they didn’t want it to be a hardship for her so I have to bring any paperwork that shows my name in relation to doing business for her. It seems complicated and I may have to take her in. I don’t understand how they think someone with Alzheimer’s is capable of signing any documents at all. Absolutely stupid. We’ll see how this all pans out.

We planned to come back to the beach on Wednesday. Mom bled all over the bed again, 3 days after stopping the xrelto. Craptastic. While I was washing sheets and packing to leave, Jackie offered to do mom’s hair. Thanks Jackie. Mom looked beautiful. We headed for the beach around noon. It was so good to get home.

Mom has been sleeping a lot since we got here. Here bp is low normal and her pulse is typically 40 to 47, which may make her sleepy. Ilona kept mom for me to see my friend, Ray, and get some down time. Ilona is such a huge help to me and I’m so glad to have her in my life. She is a very special person. She has given me three more days that she can keep mom so that I have much needed breaks. I appreciate her.

Friday mom wouldn’t brush her hair nor allow me. She slept about 70% of the day but she ate a little more than usual. She got a serving bowl sized ice cream for herself and laughed with me when I asked her about it. She said it was just the right size for lunch. She thoroughly enjoyed all of that ice cream and promptly went to sleep.

More later.

Homesick-Alzheimer’s in the Family

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It’s Wednesday, August 7th. I slept 9.5 hours and woke up exhausted. I got mom out of bed at 10AM. She is so weak today. Her best friend, Zona, stopped by with a coke and sausage biscuit and stayed for a visit. Mom ate 1/3 of the biscuit and was full.

We went back to the neurologist yesterday to address her downward spiral. I liked the associate that we saw. Seemed very competent. They took mom off the Donepezil and talked about how people with Alzheimer’s didn’t get better and the limited things that they can do for her. I told her that I understood all that but we needed help. She was just making sure that I understood the situation.

The doctor also told me to get help in taking care of mom as she didn’t want my heath to decline faster than mom’s. She talked to me about the toll caregiving takes on a person and for me to take care of myself. She was passionate about it. I know she’s right.

Mom has lost 19 pounds since the first week of June. It’s a 12% loss of weight. Over 5% loss is considered failure to thrive. The doctor ordered more test, the first being an MRI this afternoon. They are trying to determine if she has some other issue/s or if the brain damage due to the Alzheimer’s has affected the part of the brain that tells the body to process and use nutrients.

Yesterday mom told me that she was homesick. She was home, sitting in her favorite chair. So, now I’m thinking was she speaking of her heavenly home. I don’t know. She talks so much about “leaving here” and dying. Everyday. Yesterday she told the doctor that she was sad about leaving her family.

I have mom washed and dressed for her appointment and it’s 1 PM. She’ll rest until we leave at 3ish for her 4:30 PM MRI. Hopefully, they can determine what is going on. Next up is a chest and abdomen scan to rule out other disease. They tell me if she is in the failure to thrive stage, there isn’t much if anything that can be done and her time is short.

I don’t know how or what to feel. We get up each day and go forward and do what we can. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

More later.

Ice Cream for Breakfast- Alzheimer’s in the Family

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Mom has really been feeling poorly the last few days. I did manage to get her bathed and dressed today. First day out of three that she hasn’t stayed in pajamas. She is still not eating much, no matter what I try to feed her. We settled on two scoops of ice cream for breakfast today so that she could take her pills.

Each time I give her the meds she asks,”What’s all this? I only have one prescription.” She has been on 10 prescriptions for years. Pills morning and at bedtime. She resists.

She is still wearing the heart monitor and has not taken it apart yet. She’s confused about wearing it but mostly forgets about it unless she touches or sees it.

Mom has been in her chair for the last three days and only gets up to go to the bathroom a couple/three times a day. She takes her small meals in her chair too and moves from there to her bed at bedtime. She is so weak that she talks and cries (at times) in a whisper. I have been unsuccessful in getting her out of the house for anything except doctor appointments. She simply refuses.

Her blood work all came back normal. The results of the urinalysis just came back negative so there is no infection. Her rapid decline is most likely the Alzheimer Disease. We won’t have the results from the monitor for about 25 days but I know in my heart it isn’t her heart that’s causing the new issues.

Mom is still cursing, something that she hasn’t done in her previous life. She snaps at me a lot out of anger. I know it isn’t me, it’s her disease. She is weak and helpless, which is hard to witness. Each passing day reinforces what I already know. I will not be able to care for her at home much longer. I dread that for her but her safety takes precedence over staying in her house.

Her friends don’t understand why she just can’t go out to eat and shopping with them. They only see snapshots of her life when they stop to visit. They don’t know she isn’t following conversations because she can’t, or that she isn’t talking because she doesn’t understand what they are talking about. They seem to think that all I need to do is force her to eat, force her to go out, etc. All is can say is, “This isn’t how any of this works.”

We have an appointment with her neurologist tomorrow, in hopes of a new medication that may help her appetite. I think they will be surprised at her rate of decline since her last appointment on 7/13. We’ll see what they can do to help her.

Today we are making lemonade out of lemons.

More later.

Scrambled Days – Sleepless Nights- Alzheimer’s in the Family

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This has been a week of adventure. My cousin, Glenda, came to care for mom on Tuesday. I had doctor appointments in Myrtle Beach. She stayed over night, allowing me to have a break for the first time in 2 months.

All went well and I came back to mom’s a little more rested. Being a caregiver to a loved one is hard. I’m showing more patience than I ever thought I could have. Caregivers have to be “on” 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I sleep with one eye/ear open just in case mom decides to wander during the night. Showers are quick because things happen when the caregiver is out of sight.

I took mom to her PCP on Wednesday for a recheck. Something is going on with her heart. May be A-Fib. They ran an EKG, bloodwork and urinalysis to rule out infections, thyroid, etc. We have to cover all the bases. They ordered a Rollator walker and a cardiac monitor. Mom’s BP and pulse are all over the place, low to high so she’s been weak and dizzy. She is a fall risk. She kept telling the doctor,”I’m just wore out. All wore out.” She keeps talking about “going out of here.” When pressed she says she knows she is dying. I always respond,”Not today, mom, not today.”

My daughter, Jeremi, and my two young granddaughters came for a visit on Thursday. Mom was having the best day in about 12 days. She interacted with the Greats and stayed awake for the visit. She ate better and served everyone ice cream in a cone. Wow! I used this time to pickup her walker. She was too agitated to do that after her appointment on Wednesday. Mom told me that she felt better because she got two shots at the doctor. She did not.

I took mom in for her heart monitor on Friday at 8:30 AM. She asked me several dozen times where we were going and why. I answered patiently each time. Mom has lost her filter and I have now heard her curse for the first time. She is also saying many inappropriate things that she would never say before. We go with the flow. At this appointment she had trouble walking a few feet with the walker, shortness of breath and dizziness. The nurse had to get a wheelchair to move her and take her to the car. We are now trying to get a wheelchair. She simply can’t fall for a lot of reasons.

I explained to the cardiac technician that mom was in a fix it stage and that she may take the monitor apart. She has already taken apart a watch, CPAP, and a toilet tank. The plumber was here yesterday to fix the toilet. She keeps telling me that things are broken and she can fix them. The things aren’t broken until she “fixes” them. I can see this becoming expensive. I redirect many times a day but things still happen.

Mom’s screaming woke me up this morning around 3:00 AM. I ran in to her room. She was dreaming and screaming. I woke her up and she tried to speak but her words were all jumbled up. After a couple of minutes she could talk. She told me her mom was whipping her. She was so sad. I stayed with her until she went back to sleep. It’s 8:40 AM now and she’s still sleeping, crossways on the bed. I’ve been up since 4:20 AM. I just couldn’t go back to sleep.

When she awakes, I have to change the battery in the monitor and remove it for her bath. She forgets that she got the monitor and when she finds it asks me what it is. She doesn’t remember anything about this week and yesterday she couldn’t remember my daughter’s name. She is calling me Gayle a lot. Gayle is her younger sister who died of complications of Alzheimer’s the first of June. It’s sad to see her going through this.

Mom has also decided that she has unlimited funds and she wants to pay for everything. She constantly says, “I have money, I’m going to pay.” She is on fixed income and has always been frugal. I usually say, “You paid yesterday, let me pay today.” This seems to work now. We’ll see.

We are taking one day at a time. Doing the best that we can. We see her neurologist on Tuesday for an earlier recheck. Her PCP recommended that we not wait for her planned recheck in September. Things are moving so fast.

I know that I won’t be able to keep her at home at some point. Her safety is the main concern. I’m doing interviews now and forming a plan. It’s better than scrambling at the last minute and being under that pressure.

Thank you to all those in our support system. We appreciate you more than you know. You are all such a blessing.

We’ll see what today brings.

More later!

No Food for Me-Alzheimer’s in the Family

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Mom has been having a hard time since last Friday, almost a week. She fell twice on Friday and has been weak and more disoriented. I took her to her personal care physician (PCP) yesterday as her BP and pulse were all over the place. Pulse varied from 49 to 94 in just a few hours.

The PCP did a physical, EKG, urinalysis and blood work. They told me to call her neurologist and move her recheck appointment from September to now. Mom has lost 16 pounds in less than 6 weeks. I can hardly get her to eat anything. She’s not hungry. We have added Ensure and I can pour it on ice cream if it helps to get it in. We all know how much she likes ice cream but sometimes she refuses that too.

The PCP ordered her a new walker and scheduled her to get a 30 day heart monitor to determine what is happening with her heart. We get that in the morning. Mom has been taking things apart for a while so I hope the monitor survives and we can develop a treatment plan.

I have a call in to the neurologist and awaiting a new appointment. Her PCP says there is a medication that may help her appetite. The neurologist needs to prescribe it but if he doesn’t the PCP will.

This is an interesting journey. No two days are alike. At present mom has extreme difficulty in walking and is very wobbly. She has no energy to do easy and routine tasks. For the past 2-3 days she says,”I know I’m going out.” When I talk to her about it she says she is referring to dying. She just knows she is dying. I always tell her, “Not today,” and that all of us will eventually die. She also speaks of leaving a debt burden for me, although I tell her she doesn’t owe anyone anything. My day is spent reassuring her when she expresses a worry.

So we go for the monitor tomorrow and we get results from all the tests so we can make a new plan. All I can do is keep her safe, love her and reassure her. We live each day as it comes. Thanks to the advice of a friend, I am approaching events and decisions from a clinical standpoint and using my heart to love her. It helps.

More later. Thanks for reading.

Wander Woman-Alzheimer’s in the Family

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Yesterday started at 7:00 AM and it seemed to be a pretty good day although Mom thought it was 2013. She was excited about getting her hair did. When she returned home she looked beautiful, thank you Jackie.

I needed to go to town to pick up her prescriptions. Mom decided to go with me although she couldn’t remember where I was going. We took off to town for an adventure. Little did I know what an adventure it would be. We picked up the meds and headed to her favorite store for a little shopping. Shopping for me is picking up needed items. Shopping for her is hanging on to a cart for stability and looking, never buying.

We were shopping together and I was putting things in the cart. Journals, new pins, grocery items. Mom was just looking and looking. She asked me to get some storage containers from the top shelf. In the time it took to turn and get them she was gone. Three seconds tops. I called and looked for her but she was no where to be found.

I went to store management and asked them to page her and gave a description, including what she was wearing. They paged several times and I continued to look. Employees were helping me search for her. I was beginning to feel a little panicked and almost ready to call the police when we found her wandering and oblivious. 12 minutes of being scared for my Mom.

I had her stand beside me as we checked out and went to the car. She had no idea of the scare she put us through. Our fun adventure was over and we headed home.

I spent a couple of hours researching GPS items so we can track her it she wanders again. And. It will happen even with constant vigilance. I want to be prepared. This is what is being ordered:

When we got home I was exhausted but needed to cook dinner. I sautéed chicken breast with onion and stir fried squash, garlic, bok choy, and mushrooms. It was the first time Mom had ever eaten bok choy and she liked it a lot. She actually ate everything on her plate. She told me the meal was so good and that I was a better cook than she. She said it sincerely and with love. Looked like the day was ending on a better note.

Soon after the meal she began to cry. I asked her what was wrong and in a minute of clarity she said, “I didn’t want to go out this way.” We talked about it for a bit with me reassuring her that we would be okay. And. Just like that she forgot about it. The rest of the night was uneventful.

Today we started our day at 7AM. She remembered how to make coffee and had it ready when I came to the kitchen. She had a burst of energy so “we” washed her sheets, made her bed and were just putzing around doing odds and ends when she FELL.

I was right there with her but she wouldn’t let me help her up. In her stubbornness she fell forward the second time. She will be sore but nothing appears to be broken. She laid on the floor for a few minutes at my insistence. I could not get her up. Luckily Jackie was at the beauty shop next door and she came to help me. We got her up and into her chair and told her to sit there a while. Mom complied.

Mom’ cousins Glenda and Eugene were coming and bringing lunch (lunch was delicious thank you Glenda and Eugene). Mom was doing better but we all noticed that she was talking like a little girl and pouty. It is almost 3 PM and she’s still talking like a little girl and pouting. She is being quiet and withdrawn.

Each day is different and there are some difficult moments. We meet each of the days with love and patience. As it should be.

More later.

A Day in the Life – Alzheimer’s in the Family

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Yesterday was an interesting day. Up at 7:30AM to meet the day. Mom has remembered for two days how to use her cell phone. After her usual Greek yogurt breakfast it was medication time. She came into the kitchen to get water and stood at the sink and said, she couldn’t get water. There was no glass on the counter and she couldn’t remember to open the cabinet to get one. She just looked around looking puzzled. I went over and opened the cabinet and there were the glasses. She had such a look of surprise on her face and a big old smile about the glasses magically appearing.

I had the neighbor look out for her so I could go to my doctor appointment. All went well and mom was packed and ready to go when I got home. We were going back to her house for a while.

On the trip home mom was talkative for the first time in weeks. She asked me a couple of dozen times where her medication was and I patiently told her each time. She said she wanted to drive her car when we got home. I reminded her that she can no longer drive. She wanted to know who said that and I replied that her doctor said that. She wanted to know why the doctor was only telling me and not her. The rub is that he did tell her.

She doesn’t believe that she can’t drive, live alone, or that she has Alzheimer. She went from being angry to crying. I told her not to worry because I would take care of her, it is our new normal. That didn’t make her any happier.

We finally arrived at her house. She doesn’t remember any of the conversation, that she got an award at church Sunday before last, or that we had been staying at my house. She “read” her mail as she sat in “her ” chair and she has reverted to not communicating.

She is still not hungry and will only eat a little bit of food (unless it’s ice cream). Sometimes she chokes when she tries to eat. We were up early today, 7AM, she’s back in her chair reading the newspaper and being very quiet. I can’t get her to eat her breakfast but she will eventually. She’s getting her hair did this morning. She’s tried to cut her own hair several times in the past week. We’ve had a lot of redirection going on.

Lessons learned this week: Move all knives to a safe location; move kitchen shears to a safe place, put pictures of what is in the cabinets on the doors (thanks Liz); get a baby monitor (thanks Michelle); put locks at the top of doors out of eye level; gin up the patience; and love with all your heart.

More later.

Ice Cream Nazi-Alzheimer Disease in the Family

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Today has been an interesting day. Mom woke up around 8:30 AM and was in a mood. She was a little cross and didn’t want to eat breakfast, which is usually Greek yogurt with fruit. She eventually ate the yogurt and promptly went to sleep. She was “put out” that she couldn’t have ice cream for breakfast. It was a no from me. When she woke up again, Ilona (a friend who lives with me) supervised her meds for me as I was working on a project on the patio. Ilona is a wonderful young woman, an EMT by trade, and she is very good with Mom and Mom is really fond of her.

Later in the morning Mom decided that she needed to help out and started vacuuming a couple of rooms. We just let her “help out” as it was really important to her. She remembers the vacuum but not really how to vacuum. In the greater scheme of things, it’s okay. We will clean up later when she is asleep.

Later in the day Mom got up and left the room. She went back to the bedroom and for the first time in weeks she remembered how to use her cell phone. She called her lifelong friend, Zona. She hasn’t been able to use the cell phone for a long time. Somehow it clicked for her today. With Alzheimer Disease you never know what the day will bring.

Mom was not interested in eating lunch and absolutely refused. She said she wasn’t hungry but I highly suspect it’s because she couldn’t have ice cream. I’m not the soup Nazi from Seinfeld, I’m the ice cream Nazi. “No ice cream for you!” I prepared sauteed chicken, bok choy, and mushroom rice for dinner. She did eat a little and said she was full. Then she asked about ice cream. I said, “Mom, you said you were full.” She said she just wanted ice cream. Maybe before bedtime. She can’t live on ice cream and I don’t try to argue about it but she simply can’t have it for every meal and not suffer from malnutrition. We walk a thin line.

At the moment Mom is engrossed in Web of Lies on the ID channel. She’s fixated. She has not worked any in her puzzle books today, which is unusual. I really don’t know what that means. At 7:45 she asked if it was bedtime. I told her it wasn’t so shes still awake at 8:25 PM. She has hardly spoken today. No conversation. She’s just in her own little world. It’s where she feels safe. All I know is that tomorrow is another day and I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. All I can do is love her and keep her safe. Each day is a blessing. I wouldn’t have it any other way. More later.

It’s Ice Cream for Dinner-Alzheimer Disease in the Family

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Our days are pretty low key as stimulation, even conversation, is overwhelming for Mom. She likes the quiet and solitude of staying in the house and working her puzzles everyday. At least while she’s got the book and the pencil in her hand she can’t pick at her skin. Our days are full of a lot of redirection. This is not meant in a derogatory way but is meant to be fully transparent about dealing with Alzheimer. Most of the time we have to reason with my Mom similar to reasoning with a toddler. I’ve never been known for my patience but I find that I have infinite patience with her. That’s a blessing, no matter how you look at it.

Being a caregiver has it’s challenges. I will be 67 next month and this isn’t how I planned to spend my golden years. That’s okay. Caring for my Mom is my responsibility and an act of love. I have no siblings to help and must depend on hiring people to get a break. As a caregiver, one can’t leave the house for any period of time without someone coming in to “help” Mom. Yesterday my dear friend, Tracey, took me out to lunch at a new, nearby restaurant. 44th and Kings, a nice little place. We were gone about two hours and the neighbors watched out for my Mom while we were out. It was revitalizing to get away and laugh and joke and catch up with my dear friend. I felt like myself and a real person. I miss that part of my life. The travel, the meals out with friends, the things are too numerous to list. When we get into a better routine we’ll be able to have structured help and I, as a caregiver, can do a little more for myself to stay sane. Hope that happens soon.

Many decisions are being made. We will probably live at my Mom’s place for the foreseeable future. We have been living two weeks at Mom’s and two weeks at my house at Myrtle Beach. Each trip is hard for her and I believe it will be best for her to be in a stable place that is familiar to her for as long as she is able. We will probably go to her house this week. I have a business in Myrtle Beach and two homes. I want to keep my residency here so there are issues to be addressed. Planning is key to everything. Planning gives peace of mind.

After lunch with Tracey I returned home to find Mom sitting right where I left her, puzzle book in hand. She ate 1/2 of a pimento cheese sandwich and ice cream for lunch. I did some chores and took a little nap. Mom had eaten a soup mug of chocolate chip ice cream for dinner and was too full for the planned nutritious meal. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow and let it be. Life is short, especially for her.

Mom has started taking her CPAP mask off during the night. Now she seldom will tolerate it except for a few hours. Even if she quits wearing it altogether, why worry her about it. She doesn’t understand and it will just add stress for her. We aren’t looking for battles, we are looking for peace. At 83, how much can not using the CPAP shorten her life? It isn’t important in the greater scheme of things.

Mom woke up at 10 AM today and had her usual Greek Yogurt (after I redirected from ice cream) for breakfast and is already into her puzzles. She’s not talking much today, which is okay. Today looks like a quiet day. I may get some chores done but I may not. This journey may be a loss of self for my Mom but it is also a journey of self reflection and self awareness. It’s hard for me but I’m equally sure that it is harder for my Mom.

More to follow. I hope this baring of our truths can help others. That is the goal.

The New Normal, Living with Alzheimer Disease

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Our journey is moving forward at a steady pace. Mom is doing okay and does her crosswords puzzles, criptiquotes, and word finds every day. Just a few months ago she could finish a hard puzzle in a matter of minutes. Now she struggles to finish one in several hours. She tells me how hard they are to do and I must be buying her the PhD level books. I’m not. Today, she has worked in her books for about 10 hours. I have to stop her so that she can eat lunch and dinner. She will be doing those puzzles until I tell her that it is time for bed, at 10:30 PM. Not much conversation today.

Mom doesn’t like to leave the house. I don’t push her but if I ask her to go with me and she says yes, we head straight out the door before she changes her mind. I took her and her best friend shopping for new outfits last week. They love having a younger chauffeur and Mom and Zona can be quite funny when together. While out and about, vigilance is important as she will wander away. I have to find items and give her two choices as she struggles with simple decisions and tasks. When we went to the dressing room, she needed help trying on the items. As we disrobed her to try the clothes I discovered that she had picked her skin on her torso and back. We (doctors included) knew she was picking at her nails, arms and legs but had no idea she was picking everywhere. Her arms, legs and body are covered in sores. The condition is known as Dermatillomania and is seen in the middle stages of Alzheimer Disease. No medicine seems to help her with this issue. The concern is that she will develop and infection and that would expedite her mental spiral. She will stop, at least for a little while, when reminded.

Mom picked a beautiful teal pants suit with a nice necklace and Zona picked a couple of items too. These outfits were for this past Sunday. Mom was going to be honored as Woman of the Year at her church and it was a surprise. We also shopped for hats as all the women were to wear hats for Crowns for Christ. We all bought fabulous hats. The shopping tired the friends out so they were pretty quiet on the way home. It was a good outing but mom doesn’t remember anything about the shopping trip and wondered where the clothes came from.

When we got to the church on Sunday, July 14th, Mom’s grandchildren, great grands, brother and cousins were there waiting. Mom got very excited that they were there but she still didn’t know that anything was up. During the service they talked about all she has done over the years for the church and community and then announced her name and asked her to come to the altar. She looked at me and asked, “Did you know about this?” I replied, “Why, yes I did,” with a huge smile on my face. Mom went up and received her plaque and a dozen variegated pink roses. They asked her if she wanted to say anything…… I held my breath as at this point in our journey we never know what she might say. Mom said, “I’m speechless,” with a big grin on her face. They took her picture and had the family come up for more pictures.

After the award, we were all invited to the fellowship hall for a large country food spread and some fellowship. Mom did well and everyone came by to talk with her and many told me how much they love her. It was a good event and mom was all smiles. When we went back to her house there were many visitors who came by to see her. The last visitors left around 6:30 PM, after Mom fell asleep in her chair. She was exhausted. It was a lovely day with a lot of smiles and hugs and kisses. Today, Mom doesn’t remember much about that day. That’s okay. All of us will help her remember (for a short while).

This week has been pretty quiet. Mom has been enjoying her puzzle books, ice cream and kettle chips, not necessarily in that order. Mom has adopted my cat, Scurry Murray, as her own and doesn’t want me to touch him. She has gone out with me a couple of times to run errands and we bought some lovely flowers. She loves flowers a lot but not as much as ice cream. I did her hair for her and she’s been getting her shower and wearing makeup everyday. Each day with her is a blessing and we try to fill her days with acceptance and love. She is a very special woman. She deserves better than this.

Mom and her birthday bracelet

I find this blog cathartic. Don’t know how often I will post but will as this journey progressives. This has been a good week, even with emotions being fluid as we try to come to grips with our new normal. Stay tuned for updates.